Man of God

Listening to bringing up boys again right now. I've realized that I've done so much and have said so many hurtful things to my own boys, to my own husband. I used to say terrible things like "boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, girls go to Mars to get more candy bars." Lord, please forgive me for my part in this disdain and disrespect for men and boys. I am so blessed to have a man's man for my husband. He doesn't back down in the face of difficulty. He will stand up for what he believes in. He has been advised on many occasion by his friends to do the easy thing, but my husband has stood his ground...so happy to be blessed with such a wonderful man that I can respect with all of my heart. And yet, there have been times when I have be disrespectful...to many times. I haven't wanted to let him be the leader of our family. The Lord has been dealing with my heart on this all of this year. I pray that I will be a blessing to my husband in all things, and that I will allow him to be the man and the leader that God has called him to be. I pray that I will allow Bruce to raise these boys and teach them to be men of God. My husband is a man of God, and I am so blessed to know him.

Joyful Little Lamb

it's been a long time since i've posted. A lot has happened, a lot has changed. I've been able to forgive, through praying for the one who hurt me, I realize how hurt she must be...and I ask that God forgive her, too. It would be easy to turn back to unforgiveness, but by God's grace, I will remain. He is good. I've got a testimony about what He's brought me through. His fire refines, and I wish to come out gleaming as pure gold, but I know that I still have way too many rough edges buried deep within my person. I have more trials and fires to walk through, but now, I wish to do so holding the hand of the One who gives me peace. I never want to live another day without my Jesus. He's never left my side, but I didn't acknowledge His presence. It's a late night, and I need to wake up early to spend time in His presence, so goodnight. Hope that one day I can write a blog to encourage many. I will be transparent, and I will tell you how real I am, and how good God is! My name means joyful little lamb, and Jesus said that His sheep hear his voice... I love you Jesus. Goodnight.

Rough Year

You know what? If you know anything...ANYTHING about me, you know that this has been hard. I am not heartless, although in bitterness, I might appear to be. At least one person thought she knew me...knew me too well, but a lot of what comes out of my mouth is rooted in bitterness and when I'm emotional...certain days of the month compounded by guilt trips in excess...Irrational. I can have a good amount of self worth, but when I've been pounded with garbage about how I'm not doing anything right, I'm not good enough, I'm not the same person I used to be (is that a bad thing?)... When I'm overcome with stresses caused by a move, a change in jobs (actually going from a stable job to no job at all), 2 new kids that aren't exactly easy to handle, not communicating well with my husband during this time, etc...It's been a really really hard year...and sorry for the run on sentence...something like this could happen, and it did. It's been such a hard year, I'm not sending out Christmas cards this year. It's been a painful year. I had a best friend, or at least I thought I did. I'm sorry, but when you mess with my family, when you mess with my kids...that is really, really low. When a person attacks my mental health...someone who I trusted with all my heart...it cuts deep...it angers me that someone would do this who probably still thinks that she loves me. When this person continues to make excuses letting me know that I'm not innocent, but never even shows an ounce of remorse for the betrayal, for the lies...it broke my heart. I know that this person can tear me to shreads, because this person is good at that...she gets it from her mother. I know that anything I say can be turned around to make me look bad, so what's the point? Everyday I have bittter thoughts, and anger...and every day I have the choice to forgive or not forgive. Sometimes I choose to forgive...and some days I don't. Yes, this has been a very difficult year. I thought I could handle something that it turns out that I could not. In brokeness I find healing. Seems that the road to healing is a long and narrow one. I remember that angry people hurt people, and I know this person had a reason to be angry, but irrational in her anger. I love those girls, but I do not have peace about having them in our home anymore. Maybe we were their bridge into this country...into the family that the Lord has prepared for them. I know some people will want to point fingers and will entertain thoughts of how selfish we must be to choose this road. I don't see any other choice. Yes, I do have bitterness and resentment, but I also have love and happy memories, along with the hectic chaotic stressfilled overwhelmed ones. If those girls don't know that I love them, than I don't know if they ever will, but I hope that they will be with a family who will know how to convey their love to them.

looking for a support system

There is nothing like looking for new friends in a new town, where you have no support system whatsoever, and trying to avoid the people who have hurt you without knowing for certain where they could end up. I know it's petty, right?
We've done the move thing several times, but this time I don't know when we'll be leaving...I hope sooner than later, because I'll be here without my husband too soon. I just feel the need for some kind of outlet. While I LOVE having my boys with me, I know that listening to them all day long is very draining. I've decided to attempt to join meetup groups, and also look for a church to attend. Not an easy task, because I'm picky when it comes to churches. I feel like most of the time I have to settle. I don't know if it's going to be hard to find a church anything like Victory Fellowship.

God Knows Best

Recently I've learned to appreciate what God has given me. My husband has shown himself to be strong and true, and he puts up with me when anyone else in the world would turn their back on me. Our 3 boys are a constant joy in our lives, and we could not even begin to ask for me...not anymore. I've seen the result of my selfishness. Now it's time for healing. There is a true woman of God...the one that I was created to be...longing to be free...but first, I have to somehow work through some issues...hurts, things that I've never learned that I have to learn. I have a very Big God-O...He's always by my side...A very big God-O by my side by my side. So glad that's true. He's my ever present help in trouble. I've recently learned a lot about Praising Him in the Storm.
I don't always have a lot to say...but my family is a source of constant joy. I figured It's time to start over and to be thankful for what I have.
I know this blog says it's about Raising our 3 young warriors, but it's also about myt relationship with my Jesus, who I want to fall in love with more and more and more.

A Refuge for the Waiting

I know this isn't exactly about our adoption, but it is about how Great is the God we serve! He opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Lord, I pray that in all things...that I will realize my lowly state.

Refuge for the Waiting
An exegesis on Isaiah 25:1-9
by me, October 12, 1999, Old Testament Studies, BRSM, Professor Gladstone

Introduction
In the midst of Judgment there is a song of praise to the Righteous Judge, who will indeed give amnesty to the ones who turn from their wicked ways. The Lord is always pleased to pardon the repentant. I chose to study Isaiah 25:1-9, because I wanted a passage that would help me to understand the benefits of being poor and needy.
In this paper I want to be able to show the original meaning of this passage and some modern applications of it.

Historical Context
Who wrote the book of Isaiah? That is a controversial question. Most scholars believe that because there are two very different sections in the book, written from two different standpoints. They attribute the book to two different prophets, and some say three! The argument for multiple authorship is fixed on the different poetic styles used throughout the book, and the core of the argument is because of the prophecy about Cyrus, that come more than a century before he became King of Persia. Liberal scholar will not acknowledge that Isaiah could have known about that. The name Isaiah means Yahweh is salvation, which is a theme in this book. Isaiah's father was Amoz, he was probably of noble birth because he had access to the kings though out his prophetic ministry. ( (Wolf, Herbert M. Interpreting Isaiah the Suffering and Glory of the Messiah. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1985, pp. 12, 27, 33.)
Isaiah was born in the eighth century BC. He said that he prophesied during the reigns of four kings, first Uzziah, then Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiahji; who were kings of Judah. It is possible that his ministry with from the years of 740-700 BC. (Hayford, Jack. Spirit Filled Life Bible. Nashville, Thomas Nelson, 1991).
Isaiah prophesied to the southern kingdom, Judah, which was ripe for judgment. His task was to preach a message that would fall on deaf ears. This was a discouraging factor, but Isaiah agreed to preach his Lord's heart to a nation that would become more hardened after he preached it. (Baylis, Albert H. From Creation to the Cross, Understanding the first half of the Bible. Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1996, pp. 289).
The purpose of this book was to show Israel that the Lord was not pleased with the sin, and to try to turn them away from their sin. An even greater purpose though was to bring a foundation of hope to the faithful remnant, of restoration, and even a hope of a future redemption. (Hayford. Spirit-filled Life Bible. 1991)
Literary Context
The context of the passage of Isaiah 25:1-9, a praise to God for a future hope for the righteious remnant.
Isaiah is one of the major prophetic books. Prophetic books are sometimes thought of by people as primarily foretelling the future, but the fact is their real purpose was to speak for God, to the generation that they served.
The prophets were used by God as a mediator, to compel the people to keep their covenant promises to the Lord. They did not speak their own ideas or wills, but God's. They were not telling the people anything new, what they preached was in the Law of Moses. There were different forms of prophetic declarations. One form was like a lawsuit, one was the woes-which were predictions of ruin to those who would not repent. The third kind of prophecy was a promise, which would contain hope for the ones who would turn to the Lord.
Prophets were also poets. Many times the things prophesied had a meaning for that generation, but it also had a fuller meaning, which would one day come to pass. (Fee, Gordon D. and Stuart, Douglas. How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth. Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1981, pp. 166-185)
Analysis
Verse 1 says “O Lord, You are my God,” instead of “You are God.” What is the significance of this of the first claim as opposed to the second?
There were several people in the Old Testament who came to the realization that the God of the Israelites was a powerful God, and He was feared by many. These people could have said, “You are God,” but they were not able to say “You are my God,” Unless they were converted to Judaism. The righteous have personal rights in God, and they are able to have a personal relationship with Him. The Lord created man to have this intimacy with Him. He walked with Adam in the Garden, and communed with him every day. The Patriarch’s relationship with God was so personal, that the Lord called Himself “the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob”. When the Lord was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorra in Genesis 18:17, He said, “Shall I had from Abraham what I am doing…” He considered Abraham to be a friend, and therefore did not hide it from him, so Abraham was able to intercede for the city. (Spence, H.O.M. and Excell, Joseph S. The Pulpit Commentary- Volume 10. Grand Rapids, Eerdmans, 1981, pp. 409). “O Lord, you are my God…” This song is a realization that there is a freedom in commitment to the Lord, freedom that is found in nothing else. The rest of the world was living it up in revelry and wickedness, and they thought that they were free, but true freedom was in being able tot claim the Lord as mine. This song was saying, “I want a being like You for my God. I want to belong to one as powerful and faithful as you.” It also claimed ownership of God. The Lord had shown His people that He was faithful to them and that He had not left them alone, fighting for themselves.
The Lord did judge the nation, but He looked to the heart of each individual person. Everyone is important to Him. The Lord had mercy on the nation many times because of His friendship with one man. (Oswalt, John N. The New International Commentary on the Old Testament-the Book of Isaiah Chapters. Grand Rapids, Eerdmans, 1998, pp. 460.)
Verse 1 also exalts the Lord for doing marvelous things. This is the cause for the psalmist’s praise. The prophecy of the devastation of the earth directly precedes this praise. How can the devastation of the earth be classified as something marvelous?
This is a great thing. God has never failed to keep any of His promises. Even though people disappoint us, the Lord is always faithful. His promises of judgment do not seem merciful to some, because they do not know Yahweh, or His ways, but we should never misinterpret His judgments and call them wrong. Because of what Yahweh has revealed to us about His character, even though we don’t understand why, we must know that whatever He does must be right and good. (Spence H.O.M and Excell, Joseph S. The Pulpit Commentary. Pp, 460.)
Yahweh is the Powerful God who is worthy of all praise. The things that He does are not whimsical, but planned fefore the creation of the world (Yes, He has an Eternal Purpose). The idols are not able to make plans, and human plans come to nothing. That is the reason that Isaiah trusted the Lord.
In Verses 2-5, The Lord was the stronghold of the humble, but the strongholds of the nations were turned to rubble. What is the significance of this? The relationship that I am observing is the fortresses that the nations…those who did not know or obey the Lord would not stand in comparison to the Fortress that is the Lord that will not even be shaken.
The Bible says over and over again that the Lord hates pride, Proverbs 8:13 is an example of this. The Lord judged the nations to humble them, because of their great arrogance. Their fortified cities were symbolic of their pride, and the cities were turned to rubble. When man is proud, he is selfish. Throughout history the proud have crushed the poor. In the Law, the Lord made provision for protection for the poor, like the year of Jubilee and many more. Because the rich are characterized by their pursuit of more, they bought up all the land that belonged to the poor. ON many occasions the penniless man had to sell himself and his family into slavery to pay his debts. Without the Lord’s care the poor would have no hope, and they would be forgotten and abused.
Pride is false, and wicked. It honors self more than God, and that is why He hates it. It is idolatry of self.
Why did Yahweh go to such lengths as to destroy the cities? The reason is that t he Lord will be honored. How would destroying a city gain honor for His Name? Whenever there is a catastrophic event, man realizes how weak he is. This is the time that man starts to pray and to search for one higher than himself. Sometimes the Lord reveals Himself to these searching people. (Oswalt, John N. The New International Commentary on the Old Testament-The Book of Isaiah. pp. 461). Isaiah 25:3 says, “therefore the strong people will glorify You; the cities of the terrible nations will fear You.” Az is the Hebrew would for strong used in this verse. This word never refers to God’s strength, but is used to describe animals, forces of nature and water, qualities (i.e. love, and wrath), and when used to describe man it always implies enemies. (Harris, Laird, R. Theological Word Book of the Old Testament-Volume 1. Chicago, Moody Press, pp. 659.)
Wiping away the tears from all faces shows the love that the Lord has for people. Like a mother whose child is crying, He is moved by what hurts people’s hearts What God loves His people so much as to describe His love in such a way? These tears that He wipes away are associated with the sadness and hopelessness that came with death. . (Oswalt, John N. The New International Commentary on the Old Testament-The Book of Isaiah. pp. 463-465.)
Verse 9 tells of the significance behind this passage. It speaks of how the righteous; the ones who trusted in the Lord had to wait on Him during this time, and many other times in history. Why was it so important for the remnant to wait?
When all looks hopeless, and waiting is the most difficult thing to do, when storms are all around, waiting is the only thing to do. When Isaiah wrote this passage, the godly people in Judah could only wait, knowing that judgment was coming, because of the sins of the nation. The ones who trusted in the Lord did not know what was going to happen to them. Their only hope was in knowing that the Lord keeps His covenant with them.
The Israelites in the wilderness failed this test of waiting on the Lord, so they had to wait forty years before they could enter into the Promised Land. Many of the hero’s in the Bible had to wait long for their hopes in the promises of the Lord to be fulfilled. Putting people in waiting is what the Lord does, to test whether they will be faithful to Him for an extended period of time. His remnant, who would be waiting in a strange land remained faithful to Him for 70 long years, and their hopes of returning to Jerusalem would indeed be fulfilled. This is the song of God’s holy people; “Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is Yahweh, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation” . (Spence, H.O.M. and Excell, Joseph S. The Pulpit Commentary- Volume 10. pp. 412-13).
Meaning
Isaiah 25:1-9 is a praise from the remnant for the faithfulness of the Lord to protect them. Their many enemies came to attack on every side, but the Lord would destroy those enemies. He would be a hiding place only for the needy, not for the ones who thought they were strong. He promises that His people, and even the nations that turn to Him will be protected, but He also gives them a future hope. This is a promise of a feast on Mount Zion (Heaven?), and death being destroyed. For the people of God the day would come that their boasting in Him would be proved true. This was an encouragement to keep on waiting for His salvation.


Application
A universal truth in this passage is that even though the Lord will destroy the wicked nations through judgment and on judgment day, He will be a stronghold to any individual who relies on Him, like his protection of Rahab in Joshua 2.
At the time when this was written it was for encouragement that the Lord would be a stronghold to His remnant. Culturally it is also true today, not merely His protection during storms and onslaught from natural forces, but He is our hiding place our refuge during the attacks of spiritual enemies. That is the peace that passes all understanding, even though the world falls apart around a Christian, he has no excuse to get upset about it. This is what the world is to see in us that will turn them to the Lord.
This scripture has shown me that I must wait on the Lord in prayer, but also on the fulfillment of His promises. I will not be shaken, because His salvation will come to me, because I put my trust in Him. I will have peace, as I hide beneath the shadow of His Wings. I will look away from the attackers, and look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith.
Conclusion
Isaiah 25:1-9 is a praise from the remnant. There is a peace that passes all understanding because they trust in His promises to save.
I learned about the personal relationship that man can have with God, and about how His judgments really are wonderful, and that the purpose of judgment is so that all people might repent. Waiting on the salvation of the Lord is difficult during the storms and attacks, but He is faithful and He will save.